You know those times when you get horrible customer service when you wish you could tell the world about it? Well, yesterday I had one of those days. Now, for most people, they have to be content telling their friends about it. For me, as a travel writer, I get to write about it here on my blog and turn my bad experience into a warning for all of you. Fasten your seat belt because this is going to be a long one.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband got rear ended while driving in Hollywood. (He’s just fine.)  Since he is busy shooting his show, I have had to handle the work of getting estimates on his car and taking it to get fixed. Yesterday was the day I finally took it to the body shop to get the word done. The plan, with the other party’s insurance paying, was for us to get a rental car for two to three days from Hertz. You know, that HUGE car rental business? Perhaps you remember their OJ Simpson commercials or their current marketing campaign claiming you can travel at the “speed of Hertz.” (And by “the speed of Hertz” I’m guessing that’s not very fast.) Hertz is a big operation and I live in a major metropolitan area, so getting a car should be a no-brainer.

Because I have three kids and it can be tricky to fit two booster seats and a car seat into the backseat of a sedan, the insurance company, my husband, and I called the day before the rental to ensure that Hertz would have a car available for me. All of three of us were assured this would happen. (Sense some foreshadowing? Read on, because it gets good.)

No joke. This is the car rental place. It was dismal. Oh, and it has no public restrooms, which makes sense because when you have a long morning/day of travel or dealing with a body shop, no one ever needs to use the restroom. Image courtesy of Google.

My son (who was home sick from school) and I were picked up by a Hertz employee from the body shop in a Jetta. I loaded my car seats into the clean car and the employee and I engaged in chit chat on the way back to the rental “office.” I’m using the word “office” loosely, as it was one of those buildings in which you immediately feel sorry for the poor people who have to work there. I would say that in all the entire office was about the size of my living room and dining room put together, which I might add are pretty darn small because I live in a super old house. The parking lot had two cars in it. Two. One of the cars was the tiniest Chevy I’ve ever seen and the other was a Chevy Impala.

The employee quickly got the paperwork together and told me that I would be driving the Impala. He also informed me that the car was reserved for a client on Friday so that they would have to come and “switch it out with another car” Thursday morning. While I agreed to this, I couldn’t help but think it was a bit strange that they couldn’t find me a car, in all of Hertz’s Los Angeles inventory, for me to have for three days without having to “switch out” for another car. I mean, really? We are in Burbank, the media capital of the world…in a major metropolitan area called LOS ANGELES. You couldn’t find a car that didn’t need to be “switched out?” What if I was taking the car on a three-day trip or driving around sightseeing? This is an unacceptable practice when a client has called to confirm a reservation and you know I’m coming.

Nonetheless, I agreed (to be nice), loaded my car seats into that second car, the employee started the car up and I drove home. I got home around 10a.m.

At about 12:30, I received a call from Hertz letting me know that because of some sort of contraption that allows you to “travel at the speed of Hertz” that I won’t be able to START the car that is now sitting in my drive away. The employee asked for me to wait for him (since I couldn’t go anywhere anyway) and that he would be at my house at 1p.m. to trade out for another car. I immediately went out to the drive away and unloaded all of my car seats from the Impala, went back in the house…and waited. And waited. Sure I got some work done at home (I work from home), but I couldn’t get some really important things done that needed to happen before picking my other kids up, like going to the bank and the post office.

At 3:30, I began to get a little irked. I need to leave my house BY 4:00 each day to pick up my kids from daycare and their after school programs and that time was quickly approaching. I called Hertz and guess what? They FORGOT all about me! I was enraged. What’s the point of a rental car I can’t drive? If I was going to be stranded at my house, what was the use in even having a rental car. I was assured by the employee on the phone that someone would be at my house immediately.

At 4:10, 40 minutes after my phone call, an employee showed up at my house. (Remember, I had to leave at 4.) He apologized but had no excuse. I lost it with him and yelled at him like a crazy person in my front yard for all of my neighbors to see. He told me they would comp my rental and that I wouldn’t have to fill up the car when I was finished to make up for it. I told him that the car rental was through the other party’s insurance company, so it was already comped and thanks for nothing. (I’ll get to the gas part later.)  I loaded my car seats into the car and told him to grab the keys for the Impala off my porch and to get lost. (Literally.)

Once he drove off, I began reattaching the car seats and was immediately blow away by the horrific conditions in the car I had waited more than three hours for. I was given a 2011 Toyota Camry. The exterior was FILTHY, as in bugs splattered all over the front of the car and dings and scratches every where. And while the outside was bad, the inside was even worse. I have never been in a more disgusting car in my life. The smell of cigarette smoke was so strong that I had to drive around town with the windows down. The smell was so bad my kids started coughing. There were big black stains the size of grapefruits on the floors; the walls of the car were dirty, stained and marked and there were holes in the upholstery. Not just one hole but a series of them. There was even still trash on the floor from the previous renter. Oh, and the part about not worrying about filling up the gas tank: the gas tank was on EMPTY. Empty! Talk about adding insult to injury. And I waited THREE hours for this chariot! After making my way about town to pick up the kids, I parked the car in my drive way, all four windows down, because honestly, if an animal or a bit of drizzle got in the car, it couldn’t have made it any worse than it already was.

I went inside and made the kids dinner. While they were eating, I decided that I should really elevate my concerns to someone else at Hertz besides the two guys working in the depressing office in Burbank. I called and upon answering the phone, I politely asked the employee for his district manager’s phone number. His response, and I kid you not, was: “Ma’am, I already gave it to you once today.”

My mouth fell open in shock. “No,” I responded. “Apparently I am someone else you have done wrong today.”

The employee gave me the district manager’s contact information and asked if he could help me with something. I went back into my tirade about having to wait and the condition of the car I was given and how on every level–every single level–Hertz had failed today. They hadn’t done ONE thing right. Not a thing. The employee took it upon himself to try and shine up the turd of a day and insisted on bringing me ANOTHER car. (For anyone who has lost track, we’re talking about moving on to car #3 and a fourth car I will now have to load my car seats into.)

The employee showed up at my house about 30 minutes later with a clean Chevy Malibu. For a reason I am not clear of, the employee had his bottle of cleaner out as he was showing me the car, asking me if I wanted anything else clean. Let’s get one thing straight: I wasn’t being picky with the last car.  I’m a mom with three kids. I’m no stranger to a dirty car but the other car was disgusting and I wasn’t being overly picky in wanting something that was free of holes in the seats and an odor that made my kids choke. I’m thinking the Malibu he brought me must be Hertz’s “top-of-the-line” rental because it has satellite radio a GPS and 1/4 of a tank of gas. It lacks the space I need to fit all three seats across the back of the car, but honestly, I’m all out of fight, so my almost seven-year-old is riding sans booster.

So today is day two of my Hertz adventure and I completely expect something else to go wrong. As a travel writer, I always want to bring you, my readers, information on what’s great and recommendations on works for families. I always sing the praises of great brands and today was the day for me to fill you in on a not-so-great brand.

In my opinion, Hertz does not work for families. Period. I’m not sure what kind of “Mickey Mouse” operation they have going on over there but this entire problem could have been avoided had the employees at the Burbank Hertz on Victory Blvd., just made sure that they had a clean car available for me to use for three full days when the reservation was made last week.

Oh, and for the people at Hertz who will be reading this today: If you are wondering if anyone reads this blog, I can assure you I have a LOT of readers. You can read my stats by clicking here.

UPDATE: I received a telephone call from the Hertz Los Angeles area manager on Friday, March 29. He apologized and told me several times that this was the most “uncomfortable” thing he has ever had to deal with in his 14 years with Hertz. I again expressed my opinion that all of this could have been avoided if his staff had had a car waiting for me, as it had been reserved, and what they did was no different than a hotel allowing me to reserve a room when there were no rooms available. He agreed and told me he had spent several hours discussing the issue with his distribution staff and office staff. He fact that I had to load and unload my car seats into four different cars in 8 hours was not lost on him; as a father of two, he empathized with this dreaded chore that no parent loves to do. He asked if he could make it up to me or one of my family members with a complimentary rental to show me that they are committed to customer service. I politely declined, as we do not need a rental at this time. While I momentarily considered taking him up on the offer for my upcoming trip to Walt Disney World, I simply didn’t want to risk another botched reservation when I have a very tight time crunch after arriving in Florida to get to the resort and check in for the Disney Social Media Moms conference. 

After publishing this article, I received a lot of feedback on my personal and blog Facebook pages. Sadly, many others have had similar experiences with Hertz, which leads me to wonder if Hertz has a company-wide customer service/reservation problem or if misery just loves company. I know that Hertz read this post because I can see the traffic from their servers and hope that they take to heart the fact that customers have a voice, and while not all consumers have thousands of readers like I do, it is important for them to understand that in the age of social media, a small or big problem becomes a public problem. I am also, quite frankly, surprised that as a member of the media I was not contacted by a member of the PR team. (As a PR consultant, this is typically what I advise my own clients, as anything the responding employee says to a blogger or other member of the media is then “on the record.” And after all, between this blog and my magazine columns, I have hundreds of thousands of readers.)

At any rate, I appreciate the area manager’s sincerity and hope that they really have learned from my experience. And maybe, just maybe, if I’m in a jam and need a rental car I will give the area manager a call and take him up on his offer. And if I do, I will definitely write another blog post about the experience.