Two of my little guys several years ago in the Tiki Room restroom.

Until about a year and a half ago, my oldest son Aidan, now 7, never thought twice about coming with me into the women’s restroom while out in public. We went through stages and if you are a mom, you’ve been through them too. When he was little, I would corral all three of my kids in the disabled-guest or companion restroom. As Aidan has gotten older, he would accompany me into the restroom and I would wait for him outside the stall while keeping an eye on my other two children and he would wait for us. 

That is, until one day, a young girl looked at my son, who is very tall for his age, and turned to her mother and said, “What is that BOY doing in the restroom!?”

Aidan was immediately taken aback and embarrassed. The mother of the little girl was too and explained to her daughter that it was ok for boys to go to the women’s restroom with their moms while out in public. Up until that time, I hadn’t given this issue of when it would no longer be acceptable for my son to go in the women’s room with me much thought. This moment forced the issue and my son immediately began having second thoughts about following me into the restroom every time we were out.

Now that Aidan is 7, I have been taking the men’s room versus women’s room decision on a case by case basis. (Case-by-case being whether or not he complains about having to go into the ladies’ room.) If we are in a really busy, crowded place I typically make him come in with me but if we are in a restaurant or other public place in which there are only a few people around, I allow him to go in while I hover by the door. Of course, I prompt him before going into the restroom by saying, “If anyone even talks to you while you are in there you start screaming your head off.” Way to make my son paranoid, right?

And then there’s the times we are at Disneyland. For some reason, I have what is perhaps a false sense of security while at the parks. I allow him to go into the men’s room alone (as of this year), but give him my crazy person speech about screaming if someone talks to him and the obligiatory, “Don’t touch ANYTHING!” 

I’m still kind of in limbo on the bathroom issue. I recently turned to Babes In Disneyland contributor, Didi, and asked about her experience with the bathroom issue with her two boys. With two grown boys of her own, I figured I could get the best advice from a mom who has already forged the way.

Here’s what Didi has to say on the issue:

Boys.

Didi’s sons.

Most think the bathroom topic is made simpler with male offspring, but BOY, at times it sure didn’t feel like it.  Taking care of public bathroom needs is always tricky.

Outside of a Disney Park my family had a cut and dry rule; no bathroom trips without a parent until puberty, and even then, with a brother. 
  
Embarrassing for them?  Perhaps- but heck, growing up outside of New York City made it necessary.  A Disney Park certainly feels safer, and has in my mind a more controlled population. Having two boys close in age certainly made the “bathrooms in the parks” issue much simpler.  They were either with me in the ladies‘ room, or after the age of 10, with each other in the men’s room with me stationed at the door- in earshot at all times.  My younger boy has special needs, so perhaps I was stricter than most.  Goodness, I wouldn’t even let them go solo with their dad for many years! (Not for safety reasons of course, but for the “melee” that inevitably ensued with underwear, potty language and general hygiene issues.  Both boys are still reduced to puddles when retelling their first locker room experience with dad at Universal Studios Florida; and we’re still looking for the missing Spider-Man underwear…)  

We were pretty rigid with “go to the bathroom before you leave the hotel room” and “use the restroom before we leave the restaurant”, which always curbed some of the public toilet machinations. As with any day at the parks, have a plan and come prepared.  We always carried hand sanitizers and pre-moistened wipes at the ready.  (Who am I fooling?  We still do!)  The good news?  I’m proud to say they are both now in college- and with the exception of that afternoon in Universal’s Islands of Adventure- unscathed!!

So, what is your bathroom solution? I would love to hear how moms handle this with their sons and how dads handle this with their daughters! Leave a comment below or over on the Babes In Disneyland Facebook page.